


mirage

by Spades



Series: Tumblr Drabble Challenge [10]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (2012), The Incredible Hulk (2008)
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-05
Updated: 2013-02-05
Packaged: 2017-11-28 06:56:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/671564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spades/pseuds/Spades
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>one of these days, i won't be afraid</p>
            </blockquote>





	mirage

Tony shivers when he watches Bruce lean over his table. He's cold and really shouldn't be because the heat is on and everything. He's watching Bruce and for a moment he wonders if he's actually only seeing a mirage. That Bruce really wasn't there and this is all a nice dream. That the nightmares of red and gold and drowning are the real thing and that this was the escape from that horror of a reality and that alone makes him slap his hand against his forehead. He wonders what happened to Bruce in that reality then.

He really needed to stop watching Inception, because it was getting out of hand with how fucked up that movie makes him feel sometimes. Why would that be the real thing? He'd much rather live in the fucking Matrix than wonder if he was dreaming or if his reality was only this sad excuse for happiness, because really, who the fuck wanted this sort of life for them self?

Bruce interrupts by smiling at him and Tony smiles back automatically, it's too quick and something that he would never admit was his heart clenches.

He hates how he keeps counting down the days until Bruce can't do it anymore and leaves everything behind. Tony wonders if he'll even let him know, a note on the pillow that smells just like him, maybe even a chocolate. Would it be written in cursive or would it be printed from JARVIS in an attempt to keep it disconnected? Maybe no note at all would be better for Bruce, leaving in the middle of the night after fucking Tony to sleep and not leave a trace of what made him behind, except there'd be reminders every where for him.

And while Tony likes to think Bruce has more tact than that, this is the man who survives by making himself scarce fast. Survival, the man was survival embodied. A genius being punished for everything and nothing and that's tragic. There is nothing more tragic in the world than Bruce and Tony hates it, because there are things that Bruce believes and Tony just wants to take it all away and make it his so Bruce didn't have to run anymore.

Tony doesn't think Bruce knows that Tony's well award of the emergency bag he has. Tony knows that it has no memoirs from anything, nothing to remind him of the things he'll leave behind. He knew it was wrong, but he decided that he had to stick a tiny strip of photo booth pictures of them in a pocket on the side of the bag. Because Tony doesn't think it's fair if Bruce leaves with nothing to remind him of what he's leaving behind. He still half expects to find them on his coffee table with no note when Bruce decides to run away again.

His arc reactor is throbbing and he's clutching his chest and the world shakes, Bruce flickers like the mirage he sometimes thinks he is, but the arm that comes around his waist and pulls him closer to his body is real. So is the kiss to his cheek and smile smeared across his chin, he hears Bruce suggest that maybe they need to get out of the lab and it takes everything Tony has not to ask him to stay. 

There are a lot of things he knows he can ask of Bruce, but asking him to stay is never one. He chokes it down and the pain sparks, Bruce leads him to the couch and holds him firmly to him, a hand smoothing across his shoulders and for a moment he actually believes that Bruce could stay, that he won't disappear and leave him behind without a note or a call or any clue to tell him where he was going. Yet, it is still fleeting and Tony just sinks his face against Bruce's chest and lets himself issue a five fingered plea. Bruce doesn't know what it is, he probably thinks the pain is getting worse and that is fine because Tony is strong and even when Bruce walks out that door, he knows there's going a point in time where he could walk around and never be reminded of the things he left behind.

( _please don't leave me behind_ )


End file.
